第十五章（第3/14页）

“你以前做过中尉，身为军官和上等人，你觉得开心吗？”“开心？还好。我喜欢自己的上校。”“你爱他吗？”“是的！我爱他。”“他也爱你？”“没错！从某方面来讲，他的确爱我。”“跟我讲讲他的事情。”“从何说起呢？他出身行伍。他热爱军队。他终身未娶。比我年长20岁。他聪明睿智，独来独往，但却待人热诚，是个极有才能的军官。我在他麾下的时候，完全被他倾倒。我自始至终听命于他。并且心甘情愿。”“他撒手人寰，你肯定非常伤心？”“跟我自己死掉差不多。当我恢复健康，深知失去的情感永远无法再挽回。但我早知道结果会是如此。其实，这道理可以推及任何事情。”她坐在那里，反复思索着他的话。屋外雷声阵阵。这小屋就像大洪水中的一叶方舟。

"You seem to have such a lot behind you," she said.

“你的人生似乎有太多故事。”她说。

"Do I? It seems to me I've died once or twice already. Yet here I am, pegging on, and in for more trouble.” She was thinking hard, yet listening to the storm.

“是吗？我感觉自己已经死过一两次。但我依然活着，苟且偷生，准备迎接更多的烦忧。”她冥思苦想着，耳边暴风雨的怒号始终不绝。

"And weren't you happy as an officer and a gentleman, when your Colonel was dead?” "No! They were a mingy lot." he laughed suddenly. "The Colonel used to say: Lad, the English middle classes have to chew every mouthful thirty times because their guts are so narrow, a bit as big as a pea would give them a stoppage. They're the mingiest set of ladylike snipe ever invented: full of conceit of themselves, frightened even if their boot-laces aren't correct, rotten as high game, and always in the right. That's what finishes me up. Kow-tow, kow-tow, arse-licking till their tongues are tough: yet they're always in the right. Prigs on top of everything. Prigs! A generation of ladylike prigs with half a ball each—” Connie laughed. The rain was rushing down.

“上校死后，你依然享受作为军官和上层人士的生活吗？”“不！他们都太过卑劣。”他突然笑出声来。“上校曾经说过：孩子，英国的中产阶级们每吃一口饭，必须咀嚼30下，因为他们的肠道太窄，即使是颗豌豆，也会将其阻塞。他们卑鄙下流，世间罕有，跟娘们无异。他们自视甚高，鞋带系错，都会大惊小怪。他们如腐肉般糜烂，且总自以为是。我就毁在他们手里。卑躬屈膝，溜须拍马，舔屁股舔得舌头都生茧，但依然自以为是。自命不凡到了极点。假道学！这代人都是自鸣得意的道学先生，其实不过是只有半个睾丸的娘娘腔……”康妮笑了起来。雨如倾盆。

"He hated them!"

“他恨他们！”

"No," said he. "He didn't bother. He just disliked them. There's a difference. Because, as he said, the Tommies are getting just as priggish and half-balled and narrow-gutted. It's the fate of mankind, to go that way.” "The common people too, the working people?" "All the lot. Their spunk is gone dead. Motor-cars and cinemas and aeroplanes suck that last bit out of them. I tell you, every generation breeds a more rabbity generation, with india rubber tubing for guts and tin legs and tin faces. Tin people! It's all a steady sort of bolshevism just killing off the human thing, and worshipping the mechanical thing. Money, money, money! All the modern lot get their real kick out of killing the old human feeling out of man, making mincemeat of the old Adam and the old Eve. They're all alike. The world is all alike: kill off the human reality, a quid for every foreskin, two quid for each pair of balls. What is cunt but machine—fucking! It's all alike. Pay 'em money to cut off the world's cock. Pay money, money, money to them that will take spunk out of mankind, and leave 'em all little twiddling machines.” He sat there in the hut, his face pulled to mocking irony. Yet even then, he had one ear set backwards, listening to the storm over the wood. It made him feel so alone.

“不。”他说。“他才不会自寻烦恼。他只是厌恶他们。这两者存在着本质区别。正如他所说，因为英国大兵变得道貌岸然，不男不女，且心胸狭窄。人类的命运本该如此。”“平民百姓，工人阶级也一样吗？”“半斤八两。他们变得毫无勇气。仅存的斗志都被汽车、电影乃至飞机蚕食干净。听我说，一代不如一代，弹性橡胶做成内脏，金钱搭成双腿和脸。拜金的人类！某种布尔什维克主义思想将人性消灭殆尽，却对机械顶礼膜拜。金钱，金钱，还是金钱！所有现代人都将乐此不疲，将人类古老的情感毁灭，让自然质朴的人性彻底消亡。他们没什么两样。世界都是如此，扼杀人类的本性，每块包皮20先令，每对睾丸40先令。阴道算什么，只不过是性交的——工具！大同小异。只要付钱，他们就会将整个世界阉割。只要付钱，他们便会将人类的血性攫取，只留下些微不足道的运转的机器。”他坐在小屋里，脸上挂着鄙夷讥讽的神色。但甚至此时此刻，他仍保持着警觉，用一只耳朵倾听着林中暴风雨的肆虐。这样的狂风暴雨，让他感到异常孤寂。