第十五章（第2/14页）

“当然，夫人！这可是赌债！”

Connie expostulated roundly, and was angry with both of them. The upshot was, Sir Clifford raised Mrs. Bolton's wages a hundred a year, and she could gamble on that. Meanwhile, it seemed to Connie, Clifford was really going deader.

康妮狠狠申斥了两人，甚至大发雷霆。结果是，克利福德将博尔顿太太的年薪提高了100镑，她总算有了赌资。而在康妮心目中，克利福德的形象变得更加不可救药。

She told him at length she was leaving on the seventeenth.

她终于将行程告诉他，言明自己17日将会离开格拉比。

"Seventeenth!" He said. "And when will you be back?" "By the twentieth of July at the latest." "Yes! The twentieth of July." Strangely and blankly he looked at her, with the vagueness of a child, but with the queer blank cunning of an old man.

“17日！”他说。“那你什么时候回来？”“最迟7月20日。”“是吗？7月20号。”他失神落魄地怪怪地望着他，茫然的样子活像个孩子，但狡黠的神态又好似老朽。

"You won't let me down, now, will you?" he said.

“你不会让我失望，对吗？”他说。

"How?" "While you're away, I mean, you're sure to come back?” "I'm as sure as I can be of anything, that I shall come back.” "Yes! Well! Twentieth of July!"

“让你失望？”“我是说，你走之后，确定还会回来是吗？”“我肯定会回来，绝不食言。”“好吧！很好！7月20号！”

He looked at her so strangely.

他表情怪异地望着她。

Yet he really wanted her to go. That was so curious. He wanted her to go, positively, to have her little adventures and perhaps come home pregnant, and all that. At the same time, he was afraid of her going.

但在心里，他其实希望她走。这确实有些奇怪。他盼着她离开，盼着她遇到露水情缘，或许还能够怀胎而返。但与此同时，他又害怕她弃他而去。

She was quivering, watching her real opportunity for leaving him altogether, waiting till the time, herself himself should be ripe.

她激动得全身震颤，等待着真正机会的到来，可以完全脱离他的束缚，等待着她和他都成熟的一天。

She sat and talked to the keeper of her going abroad.

她坐在守林人家中，说起自己要出国旅行的事情。

"And then when I come back," she said, "I can tell Clifford I must leave him. And you and I can go away. They never need even know it is you. We can go to another country, shall we? To Africa or Australia. Shall we?" She was quite thrilled by her plan.

“等我回来，”她说，“就会跟克利福德摊牌，告诉他我要离开。你我便可以远走高飞。他们甚至都不会知道我的情郎是你。我们可以离开英国，不是吗？去非洲或者澳大利亚。没错吧？”讲到自己对未来的计划，康妮激动不已。

"You've never been to the Colonies, have you?" he asked her.

“你从未去过殖民地，对吧？”他问她。

"No! Have you?" "I've been in India, and South Africa, and Egypt.” "Why shouldn't we go to South Africa?” "We might!" He said slowly.

“没有！你呢？”“我去过印度、南非还有埃及。”“咱俩干嘛不去南非呢？”“或许可以去！”他慢吞吞地说。

"Or don't you want to?" she asked.

“或许你并不想去？”她问。

"I don't care. I don't much care what I do.” "Doesn't it make you happy? why not? we shan't be poor. I have about six hundred a year, I wrote and asked. It's not much, but it's enough, isn't it?” "It's riches to me.” "Oh, how lovely it will be!"

“我不在乎。去哪里我都无所谓。”“你不高兴吗？为什么？我们不会受穷的。我每年能得到600英镑，我之前写信问过。虽然不多，但也足够咱俩过活，不是吗？”“对我而言，已经算一大笔钱。”“噢，那时的生活该是多么美妙！”

"But I ought to get divorced, and so ought you, unless we're going to have complications.” There was plenty to think about.

“可我应该先办好离婚手续，你也一样，否则准会麻烦不断。”方方面面的事情，都要考虑周详。

Another day she asked him about himself. They were in the hut, and there was a thunderstorm.

还有一天，她问起他的过往。他俩呆在林间小屋里，外面雷雨交加。

"And weren't you happy, when you were a lieutenant and an officer and a gentleman?” "Happy? all right. I liked my Colonel." "Did you love him?" "Yes! I loved him." "And did he love you?" "Yes! In a way, he loved me." "Tell me about him." "What is there to tell? he had risen from the ranks. He loved the army. And he had never married. He was twenty years older than me. He was a very intelligent man: and alone in the army, as such a man is: a passionate man in his way: and a very clever officer. I lived under his spell while I was with him. I sort of let him run my life. And I never regret it.” "And did you mind very much when he died?" "I was as near death myself. But when I came to, I knew another part of me was finished. But then I had always known it would finish in death. All things do, as far as that goes." She sat and ruminated. The thunder crashed outside. It was like being in a little ark in the Flood.