第十九章（第5/13页）

（他给身在伦敦的康妮写信。）你的来信究竟对我造成怎样的影响，我无须向你言明。如果你能站在我的角度设想一下，或许就会心知肚明，但想必你不会设身处地地为我着想，这点毫无疑问。

I can only say one thing in answer: I must see you personally, here at Wragby, before I can do anything. You promised faithfully to come back to Wragby, and I hold you to the promise. I don't believe anything nor understand anything until I see you personally, here under normal circumstances. I needn't tell you that nobody here suspects anything, so your return would be quite normal. Then if you feel, after we have talked things over, that you still remain in the same mind, no doubt we can come to terms. Connie showed this letter to Mellors.

我的答复只需这一句话便能概括：在做出任何行动之前，我必须在拉格比见到你。你曾经信誓旦旦地许诺过要重回拉格比，我希望你履行自己的诺言。除非我能在这里见到你，一如往常，否则我不会相信或理解任何事。我无须向你说明，这里的人都不曾怀疑过什么，所以你的归来是再自然不过的事情。详谈过后，如果你依然不愿改变主意，那么我们会找到解决的方法。康妮把信拿给梅勒斯看。

"He wants to begin his revenge on you," he said, handing the letter back.

“他正盘算着如何报复你。”他说完，把信交还给康妮。

Connie was silent. She was somewhat surprised to find that she was afraid of Clifford. She was afraid to go near him. She was afraid of him as if he were evil and dangerous.

康妮默默无语。不知何故，她发现自己居然害怕起克利福德来，这让她感到有些惊讶。她害怕靠近他。她害怕他，好像他是邪恶与危险的化身。

"What shall I do?" she said.

“我该怎么办？”她问。

"Nothing, if you don't want to do anything.” She replied, trying to put Clifford off. He answered: If you don't come back to Wragby now, I shall consider that you are coming back one day, and act accordingly. I shall just go on the same, and wait for you here, if I wait for fifty years. She was frightened. This was bullying of an insidious sort. She had no doubt he meant what he said. He would not divorce her, and the child would be his, unless she could find some means of establishing its illegitimacy.

“要是不想那样做，就不用理会他。”她回信给克利福德，试图推掉这次会面。他答复说：如果你现在不回拉格比，那么我会认为你总有一天会回来，履行你的诺言。我也将继续等下去，等你回到这里，哪怕等上50年。她显然被他唬住了。这可是种阴险恶毒的恐吓手段。她很清楚他话里的深意。他不会跟她离婚，孩子便将成为他的，除非她能证明其私生子的身份。

After a time of worry and harassment, she decided to go to Wragby. Hilda would go with her. She wrote this to Clifford. He replied: I shall not welcome your sister, but I shall not deny her the door. I have no doubt she has connived at your desertion of your duties and responsibilities, so do not expect me to show pleasure in seeing her. They went to Wragby. Clifford was away when they arrived. Mrs. Bolton received them.

烦恼焦虑过后，她决定去趟拉格比。希尔达愿意跟她同行。她写信告知克利福德。他回信说：我不欢迎你的姐姐，但我也不会将她拒之门外。我深信，你背信弃义的行为得到了她的纵容，因此，别希望我对她笑脸相迎。姐妹俩来到拉格比。恰逢克利福德外出。博尔顿太太出来迎接她们。

"Oh, your Ladyship, it isn't the happy homecoming we hoped for, is it!" she said.

“噢，夫人，这可并非我们期待的欣然归来，是吧？”她说。

"Isn't it?" said Connie.

“不是吗？”康妮反问。

So this woman knew! How much did the rest of the servants know or suspect? She entered the house, which now she hated with every fibre in her body. The great, rambling mass of a place seemed evil to her, just a menace over her. She was no longer its mistress, she was its victim.

这么说，这女人知道内情！其他的仆人又知道多少，怀着多少疑心呢？她踏进府邸，踏进这座她如今全身心憎恶着的府邸。对她而言，这庞大绵延的建筑似乎异常邪恶，时刻都在威吓着她。她不再是这里的女主人，反倒成为受难者。

"I can't stay long here," she whispered to Hilda, terrified.

“我不能多作停留。”她受惊匪浅，低声对希尔达说。

And she suffered going into her own bedroom, reentering into possession as if nothing had happened. She hated every minute inside the Wragby walls.

再次回到自己的卧房，康妮心里依然备受煎熬，她没法再度占据这房间，像什么都没发生一样。在拉格比多呆一分钟，都让她感到厌恶。