第十八章（第3/14页）

我不想去饭店，晚上七点，我会在亚当街的金鸡咖啡馆门口等你。他果真站在那儿，依旧高挑修长，而身着黑色薄西服，让他与以往判若两人。他有一种自然的超凡脱俗的气质，却不像贵族阶层的人们那样千篇一律。但她早就看出，他绝非池中之物。他那种与生俱来的涵养，比起那种惺惺作态的仪表，实在胜强百倍。

"Ah, there you are! How well you look!" "Yes! But not you." She looked in his face anxiously. It was thin, and the cheekbones showed. But his eyes smiled at her, and she felt at home with him. There it was: suddenly, the tension of keeping up her appearances fell from her. Something flowed out of him physically, that made her feel inwardly at ease and happy, at home. With a woman's now alert instinct for happiness, she registered it at once. "I'm happy when he's there!” Not all the sunshine of Venice had given her this inward expansion and warmth.

“啊，你来了！气色不错呀！”“是啊！可你看上去不太好。”她心疼地望着他的脸庞。他消瘦许多，颧骨向外凸出。但看到她，他的眼睛仍流露出笑意，和他在一起，她感到无拘无束。正因为此，她紧绷着的面孔突然间松弛下来。某种男子的气魄从他身上散发出来，让她发自内心地感觉轻松愉快，安然自得。凭借女性追求幸福的敏锐本能，她立即产生这样的感想。“因为有他在，我才是幸福的！”任威尼斯的阳光怎样灿烂，都无法让她的心感到宽慰和温暖。

"Was it horrid for you?" she asked as she sat opposite him at table.

“那件事还让你后怕吧？”她跟他隔桌而坐，问道。

He was too thin; she saw it now. His hand lay as she knew it, with the curious loose forgottenness of a sleeping animal. She wanted so much to take it and kiss it. But she did not quite dare.

他瘦得有些脱相，这时她才看得真切。他仍像过去一样，像头熟睡的野兽，将手随意地搁在桌上，好像已经将它遗忘。她多想将它握住，亲吻它。但却没有那样的胆量。

"People are always horrid," he said.

“人言可畏呀。”他说。

"And did you mind very much?" "I minded, as I always shall mind. And I knew I was a fool to mind." "Did you feel like a dog with a tin can tied to its tail? Clifford said you felt like that." He looked at her. It was cruel of her at that moment: for his pride had suffered bitterly.

“你很在意那些风言风语么？”“我在意，我的个性就是如此。虽说我也明白，这样无异于犯傻。”“你感觉自己像条尾巴上拴着锡罐的野狗吗？克利福德说你的感觉很像。”他望着她。此时此刻，她说出这样的话实在有些残忍，因为他的自尊心受到极大的摧残。

"I suppose I did," he said.

“应该是吧。”他说。

She never knew the fierce bitterness with which he resented insult.

她无法察觉，他对这样的侮辱是如何地深恶痛绝。

There was a long pause.

好一会儿没人做声。

"And did you miss me?" she asked.

“你想念我吗？”她问。

"I was glad you were out of it."

“你没有牵扯其中，我深感庆幸。”

Again there was a pause.

又是一阵沉默。

"But did people believe about you and me?" she asked.

“可大家相信关于你我的传闻吗？”她问。

"No! I don't think so for a moment.”

“不！至少现在还不会。”

"Did Clifford?" "I should say not. He put it off without thinking about it. But naturally it made him want to see the last of me." "I'm going to have a child.” The expression died utterly out of his face, out of his whole body. He looked at her with darkened eyes, whose look she could not understand at all: like some dark-flamed spirit looking at her.

“克利福德呢？”“我想他也不会相信。他把事情推到一边，不去费神。不过，传闻让他再也不愿见到我，这也可以理解。”“我怀孕了。”他的表情完全僵住，身体如同木雕泥塑。他那双阴郁的眼睛紧紧盯着她，像某种燃烧着黑色火焰的精灵，她根本无法理解这种表情的含意。

"Say you're glad!" she pleaded, groping for his hand.

“说你很开心！”她拉住他的手，央求着。

And she saw a certain exultance spring up in him. But it was netted down by things she could not understand.

她发觉无法言喻的狂喜从他的心底升腾而起。但这种喜悦却被她难以理解的东西掩盖住。

"It's the future," he said.

“那是将来的事。”他说。

"But aren't you glad?" she persisted.

“可难道你不开心吗？”她追问着。