第十章（第2/34页）
"Clifford," she said to him—but this was after she had the key to the hut—” Would you really like me to have a child one day?” He looked at her with a furtive apprehension in his rather prominent pale eyes.
“克利福德，”得到林间小屋的钥匙之后，她对他说，“你当真希望我能生个孩子吗？”他暗暗望向她，那对外凸的淡蓝色眼睛中，隐约露出惧色。
"I shouldn't mind, if it made no difference between us," he said.
“如果不会影响你我的关系，那么我不会介意。”他说。
"No difference to what?" she asked.
“不会影响到什么？”她问。
"To you and me; to our love for one another. If it's going to affect that, then I'm all against it. Why, I might even one day have a child of my own!” She looked at him in amazement.
“不会影响你我的关系，我们对彼此的爱情。如果影响到这些，那么我会坚决反对。哦，说不定哪天我也能拥有自己的孩子！”她诧异地看着他。
"I mean, it might come back to me one of these days." She still stared in amazement, and he was uncomfortable.
“我的意思是，没准哪天我能够恢复生育能力。”她仍旧惊异地盯着他，弄得他窘迫起来。
"So you would not like it if I had a child?" she said.
“那么说，你不愿意我怀别人的孩子？”她问。
"I tell you," he replied quickly, like a cornered dog, "I am quite willing, provided it doesn't touch your love for me. If it would touch that, I am dead against it.” Connie could only be silent in cold fear and contempt. Such talk was really the gabbling of an idiot. He no longer knew what he was talking about.
“我说过，”他连忙回答，像只无路可退的野狗，“如果那样做不会影响你对我的爱，我举双手赞成。反之，我会反对到底。”康妮无言以对，冷冷的不安与轻蔑的情绪交杂在一起。这席话无异于白痴的梦呓。他不再知道自己在说些什么。
"Oh, it wouldn't make any difference to my feeling for you," she said, with a certain sarcasm.
“哦，那不会影响我对你的感情。”她说，略带讽刺的口吻。
"There!" he said. "That is the point! In that case I don't mind in the least. I mean it would be awfully nice to have a child running about the house, and feel one was building up a future for it. I should have something to strive for then, and I should know it was your child, shouldn't I, dear? And it would seem just the same as my own. Because it is you who count in these matters. You know that, don't you, dear? I don't enter, I am a cypher. You are the great I—am! As far as life goes. You know that, don't you? I mean, as far as I am concerned. I mean, but for you I am absolutely nothing. I live for your sake and your future. I am nothing to myself” Connie heard it all with deepening dismay and repulsion. It was one of the ghastly half-truths that poison human existence. What man in his senses would say such things to a woman! But men aren't in their senses. What man with a spark of honour would put this ghastly burden of life-responsibility upon a woman, and leave her there, in the void? Moreover, in half an hour's time, Connie heard Clifford talking to Mrs. Bolton, in a hot, impulsive voice, revealing himself in a sort of passionless passion to the woman, as if she were half mistress, half foster-mother to him. And Mrs. Bolton was carefully dressing him in evening clothes, for there were important business guests in the house.
“那就好！”他说。“那才是问题的关键！那样的话，我半点都不会介意。如果家里有个小家伙在家里跑来跑去，知道有人能赋予他光明的未来，那真是再好不过。那时候，我就会拥有为之奋斗的目标，我知道那是你的孩子，不是吗，亲爱的？你生的孩子我会视如己出。因为涉及到此类事情，你才是至关重要的。你懂我的意思，是吗，亲爱的？我不会干涉，因为我无足轻重。你是唯一的重心！就生活本身而言。你理解我的说法，是吗？我是说，我就持这样的观点。我是说，对你而言，我毫无意义。我为你而活，为你的未来而活。至于我自己，根本无关紧要。”听完这席话，康妮感到愈发沮丧，对他的厌恶又添几分。这些不过是荼毒生命的可耻鬼话。他这般理智的男人，怎么能对妻子说这样的话呢！可男人总是不按道理出牌。但凡有点尊严的男人，怎么能将生活的重担全压在妻子肩头，让她孤军奋战呢？更过分的是，仅仅半小时以后，康妮亲耳听到克利福德与博尔顿太太的交谈，他的口吻热络而急切，表现得时而冷漠，时而激情，似乎她已然是半个情妇、半个养母。博尔顿太太小心细致地帮他穿好晚礼服，因为晚上业界的头面人物会到访。