第五章（第12/13页）

米克如坐针毡，身体前倾，用近乎歇斯底里的目光死死盯着她，究竟是急于听到她肯定的答案，以满足自己的虚荣心，还是口不对心，惊慌失措地唯恐她答应呢？这只有老天才晓得。“我得考虑一下，”她说，“现在没法给你答复。或许你认为可以不必顾及克利福德，但我做不到。只要想到他终身残废的事实……”“真他妈见鬼！要是有人总拿自己是残废来做借口，我还想说自己多么孤单呢，自始至终都孑然一身，还有那些琐碎无聊的屁事！见鬼去吧，要是哪个家伙只靠自己残疾的身体来博取同情……”他转过身去，双手在裤兜里抓狂似地乱动。傍晚时分，他央求她说：“夜里来我房间，好么？我根本搞不清你的房间在哪儿。”“好的！”她说。那晚他兴奋异常，他的赤裸的肌体在康妮面前如同一个陌生的小男孩一样柔弱。康妮发觉，自己根本还没有达到高潮，他就一泄如注了。他小男孩般的赤裸的柔软身躯挑起她体内炽烈的情欲。在他射精之后，她还得继续扭动，臀部高低起伏，而他仍然英勇地保持着坚挺，调动全部的性意念和奉献情怀，在她的体内支撑着，直到她达到性欲的巅峰，发出奇异而细微的呻吟。

When at last he drew away from her, he said, in a bitter, almost sneering little voice: "You couldn't go off at the same time as a man, could you? You'd have to bring yourself off! You'd have to run the show!” This little speech, at the moment, was one of the shocks of her life. Because that passive sort of giving himself was so obviously his only real mode of intercourse.

终于可以抽身而退时，他用挖苦甚至是嘲讽的口吻轻声说：“难道你就不能和男人同时达到高潮么？你总是我行我素！总要将指挥权握在手中！”在这样的时刻，听到如此的埋怨，康妮感到无比震惊。因为事情是明摆着的，被动配合是他完成交媾的唯一方式。

"What do you mean?" she said.

“你的意思是？”她问。

"You know what I mean. You keep on for hours after I've gone off...and I have to hang on with my teeth till you bring yourself off by your own exertions.” She was stunned by this unexpected piece of brutality, at the moment when she was glowing with a sort of pleasure beyond words, and a sort of love for him. Because, after all, like so many modern men, he was finished almost before he had begun. And that forced the woman to be active.

“你清楚我什么意思。我早就完事了，你却还没完没了……我只好咬牙坚持，直到你自己努力彻底爽翻。”康妮原本还沉浸在难以言喻的快感里，陶醉在对情郎的丝丝爱意中，但这番突如其来的粗鲁言语，让她感到无所适从。因为他像现在的许多男人一样，属于速战速决的典型。使得女人不得不采取主动。

"But you want me to go on, to get my own satisfaction?" she said.

“可是，你不想要我继续下去，达到自己的满足么？”她问。

He laughed grimly: "I want it!" he said. "That's good! I want to hang on with my teeth clenched, while you go for me!” "But don't you?" she insisted.

他阴郁地笑着：“我想！”他说：“简直再好不过！我想紧咬牙关，让你随意折腾！”“难道你不愿意么？”她追问道。

He avoided the question. "All the darned women are like that," he said. "Either they don't go off at all, as if they were dead in there...or else they wait till a chap's really done, and then they start in to bring themselves off, and a chap's got to hang on. I never had a woman yet who went off just at the same moment as I did.” Connie only half heard this piece of novel, masculine information. She was only stunned by his feeling against her...his incomprehensible brutality. She felt so innocent.

米凯利斯顾左右而言他。“女人都他妈的一个德行。”他说。“要么死猪似的躺在那儿，没有半点激情；要么等男人完事了才来劲，让男人硬挺着伺候她们。我从来就没碰到过能和我一起高潮的女人。”康妮对这些新鲜的男性生理知识毫无兴趣。只是他那对自己的抵触情绪，以及那种难以理解的粗鲁态度，让她感到瞠目结舌。她觉得自己很无辜。

"But you want me to have my satisfaction too, don't you?" she repeated.

“可你不想让我也得到满足么？”她再次重复着自己的问题。

"Oh, all right! I'm quite willing. But I'm darned if hanging on waiting for a woman to go off is much of a game for a man...” This speech was one of the crucial blows of Connie's life. It killed something in her. She had not been so very keen on Michaelis; till he started it, she did not want him. It was as if she never positively wanted him. But once he had started her, it seemed only natural for her to come to her own crisis with him. Almost she had loved him for it...almost that night she loved him, and wanted to marry him.